Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
