Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
