Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
