Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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