No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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