she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just gift wrapped bread.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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