Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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