im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
