After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm like, not good at living.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
