im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
