we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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