were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I believe in your delicious
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
