its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
