i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
