sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
