she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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