My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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