____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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