ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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