Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is the high leading the old right now
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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