I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
