ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
