I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
