My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
