There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize