Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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