She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
