I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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