It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
