I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
