I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize