I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
