Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
