I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
