So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
