I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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