I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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