Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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