Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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