And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
