So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
