my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
