Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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