Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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