You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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