so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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