That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize