We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
