we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
