just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize