Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
