Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
