Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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