She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
