i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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