he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
