Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
