i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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