I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
