Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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