My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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