He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
