Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
