If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize