I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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