Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
