problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
