he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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