drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
