Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
