Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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