you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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