do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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