I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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