It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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